My New Mom's Thoughts

Hello all! Today Yung went back to work after three and a half weeks (a life time). We both felt mixed feelings about his return. We are feeling so blessed that our little Cayenne decided to breastfeed the Sunday before last (10 days ago) and that she has been sleeping nights and days (with exception of one night and two days...very frusterating) that entire time. Except last night she has been doing a five consecutive hour sleep each night. I think I messed it up by talking about it too much and so last night several two hour chunks. The two hour chunks were fine too since she did several in a row with diaper changes and feedings in between. Cayenne likes to eat for hours at a time and then sleep for hours at a time. So Yung and I feel lucky that on his fist day back he is relatively unsleep deprived and does not have to worry about me pumping my milk every two hours.

We went to Yung's cousin Shari's wedding this weekend. Congratulations Tom and Shari! I was terrified of going on our first road trip but I have to admit I enjoyed getting away from the house and I enjoyed the wedding and family. The wedding for us was tremendously hard and hugely enjoyable at the same time. This is how my life feels in general. We came home a day early and it felt great to return home.

I am able to write this while holding Cayenne is a Maya Wrap sling that my close friend Phoebe loaned me. I can do everything with out putting her down. Before I had Cayenne I never would have emagined that I would want to do everything without putting her down. I have been surprized by my birth, my child, my husband, my life, my parenting style, my family and everything under the sun. I feel that I am a new person and yet as the days pass, I realize I am still myself.

Phoebe was at Cayenne's birth and has helped our family through every part of this transition from giving me the pregnancy test to helping us through the rough times after Cayenne was born. My heart overflows with love and gratitude to Phoebe and her family.

This Blog has been very rewarding to me and it is my close friend Barbara who showed me how to do do this. Thank you Barbara!!! I have been enjoying Barbara's son, Andrew's web cite for a year now. Every time I looked there were new photographs, sound bite's, video clips and goodies to enjoy. Just today I saw her blog for the first time and realized the value of writting in addition to pictures. I love that people all over the world and country can see Cayenne and feel connected in the way that I have felt connected to Barbara, Mike and Andrew. Thanks again and I hope you all have a wonderful first birthday!!!!

Oh boy I realize I just started down a slippery slope! I could be typing forever just giving a token of my gratitude to so many people. Cayenne, Yung, my mother, Yung's mother and brother, all of our family and friends and even people in the community. As hard as this has been and is we have also been that blessed. I must admit I have been praying to my God alot (something I normally don't do much or talk about) and have endless teary thanks for that as well. Yung and I prayed to God and Budda just before Cayenne decided to breastfeed. I also bribed her with the promise to let her nurse as often as she so desired.


Well I could say more, but you all would probable be just as happy if I did not so.....I hope you are all well and happy. Thanks for all your love, support and thoughts! Yung, Cayenne and I appreciate what has been given to our family.

Love,

Sunshine